Affair-proofing My Marriage

While this is somewhat embarrassing to admit, several times through the years I have found myself in a position where either I was very attracted to someone or I sensed someone was very attracted to me. In a few cases there was mutual attraction. Yikes! 

But it happened. And dangerous attractions that potentially threaten a marriage, mine or  others, happen more often than anyone wants to talk about. Often it is people already emotionally near us—those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined (extended family, church friends, ministry coworkers, etc.)—that prove the greatest source of temptation. And there is nothing about that temptation being totally and completely unwanted that makes it go away.

So, all that being said, I've decided to share a few strategies I have come up with that, through the years, have served to protect my marriage. 

Image Stockx.change "cobrasoft"

1. I admit to myself that my lust for affirmation from a man is just one baby step away from sexual lust. If I don't look to God and Him alone for affirmation, I am setting myself up for trouble. 

2. In the company of a person to whom I am attracted, I talk only positively about Mark. Negative talk about my marriage, even if said in humor, could invite someone to wonder if I was considering a replacement.
3. If at all possible, I avoid one-on-one conversations with someone to whom I am inappropriately attracted. The last thing I need is "alone time" with him! This includes one-on-one conversations via facebook or other social networking media.
4. I think through the temptation to its logical end, and it is always highly disturbing. The devastated spouses. The heart-broken children. The destroyed reputations. Peoples' morbid fascination with my sin. 
5. I confess/report the situation to someone whom I know will give sound advice that supports my marriage. Just saying it out loud takes away at least some of the "pull" of the forbidden. 
6. I never confess to the person with whom there is an attraction or fish to see if I am understanding someone else's attraction to me correctly. If neither of us know for sure the other one is tempted, that in itself is a protection.

7. I flirt only with my husband. I recognize that "innocent flirting" only looks innocent because nothing has yet been destroyed by it. 

8. I make myself admit when I am trying to look attractive so someone besides Mark will notice. That is a big clue to where my heart is.  

9. Our marriage is precious to both Mark and me. We have made the decision ahead of time that we are willing to do whatever is necessary to protect it, even if that means changing locations, changing careers, you-name-it.
10. I run to God in prayer. 

In this perverse time in which we live, sexual faithfulness is in itself an amazing testimony to the work of God in one's life. And so, with God's help, it is my desire to honor Him in this way. I want to be a faithful woman. I really do.

See Following My Heart, a Truly Stupid Idea.
See Disqualified!